Secrets are good as long as no one knows there’s one….

Motherish…

That has to be true because we all have a tendency to go secret hunting as soon as we smell one….If husbands won’t share their iPhone pin, the wives got to check what he’s upto. If Santa refuses to show himself, the kids got to stay up till midnight setting up a trap. Remember the Pokemon Go craze last year…when every kid was outside spying for those little critters and some people (me) walking right into gutters. I think I was better off not knowing my kids had a secret. Going after it sure gave me post-traumatic amnesia.

Neil, my 6 year old just loves to read the Red Riding Hood. The librarian got so tired of me paying overdues on that book that she literally presented it to my family one day.

Avi, my 9 year old reads a math book….every night! Am not really sure how one reads a math text…. “ = 8 × 8 = 64. 82 could be called “8 to the power 2”, or simply “8 squared”.

Well, I was always a little numerically challenged and cannot for the love of God understand his inclination. But surely some people (like his dad) might find it interesting I guess. Who reads a book where someone did not get murdered anyway?

Naive that we poor moms are, I would probably never have guessed my kids were being all sneaky if not for the upside down book Neil was holding. So I ask my little fellow if he could tell me the story. He says, “It is too scary for you mom….you are too young for this.”

“Hmm” but I’m not giving up so easy either, am I? So I insist. He relents and tells me the story, “A little girl called Red Riding Hood went to a ball dance with handsome prince Spiderman and at the strike of 12, she ran so fast, she lost her glasses. On her way home, she got so hungry she ate a poor little fox with the hair on its chinny, chin, chin.”

Not really sure how to react at first, I suggested we should walk our dog perhaps? But what do I see, she is busy reading a book too.

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Well, I gave up and went back to sleep in my tower after kissing my two little dragons good night.

 

Childish…..

Oh my gosh, this is the hardest thing I’ve encountered other than the final level of Mortal Combat X.

I have tried so hard to teach my brother this mom-proof way of getting away with watching minecraft videos on mom’s phone, but he keeps on messing it up! When we sneak away with mom’s phone, she comes around at night to check on us. Our spidey-sense tingles and we hide mom’s phone….pull out the closest book….. and pretend reading. I’ve been reading ….pretend reading that is….a thick math book that is always under my bed. But Neil keeps pretend reading Little Red Riding Hood….and that’s like 4 pages. Of all the toddler books he still loves…..Little Red Riding Hood? Seriously? I mean it when I say toddler books, his favorite is “Once Upon a Potty”.

I mean I can’t really understand what I’m reading, what does (a+b) (a-b) even mean? Since when was the alphabet part of math.

And to add to our misery, he always reads the book upside down. I swear my mom is so smart, she actually asked him what his book was about…after all he read it like a bajillion times. He obviously doesn’t even know the story, so he just told her a story that gave her a stomach ache I think. I was waiting to punch him as soon as she turned her back and he looked so proud of himself.

Mom figured out our top secret and that got me grounded for a month. Now I have to think of a completely new method…..well, there’s always homework…

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