Are We There Yet?

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via Passenger

Here’s another story on a road trip written by my 10-year old and me….

Motherish:

“Get outta here…” “I hate you…” “Are we there yet?”… “I’m hungry….” I’m sleepy”… “noooooo, I’m nooooooooottttttt whiiiiiiining”…

“SHUT UP”

Sound familiar? Of course it does, to all of you who had kids as passengers on a road trip or a long flight. I love to travel, or rather I used to….sitting idly in a plane, on a 36 hour flight across the globe, being served food, reading with your feet tucked in, on your seat, with super-tight wiggle room. Well, all that’s a dream now. Picture a frazzled mom with 2 boys in tow, everybody looking at you like you were the walking dead. Or constantly looking for the road signs for the next gas station because Avi does not have to pee when Neil does, and Avi has to pee when the next rest area is not for 42 miles. Avi likes Chick-fil-A while Neil only likes pizza. Dad likes neither of course. And mom lives only on coffee.

“Are we there yet?”

“No, Neil, we are going to be driving for 3 more hours. Why don’t you take a nap?”

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOK”

“MOOOOOOOOOmmmmm, Avi’s smelly feet are on my faaaaace.”

“Mom, he just farted, eeeewwww.”

Well, we didn’t have to to be told that, because we were already rolling our windows down.”

OMG, what do I feed these kids.

Dad threatens to take their electronics away.

A very peaceful 5 minutes. I try to turn the radio on.

…….“Are we there yet?”

 

Childish:

We look at each other very quietly, It’s the biggest Staredown 2017, it’s in a world records book. One of us is going to fart and whoever did first was losing their “TV Privileges”.

We were all arguing over food options, dad wanted a healthy place, mom just wanted caffeine. I didn’t care and Neil wanted pizza. At one point we went to subway and I had a worse experience than dad’s first time at subway. He wrote a whole story on that. I thought olives were chocolate. Imagine how many I stuffed into my mouth. My mom gave me a stare like medusa and I froze in place, unable to barf the olives out. Then I tried to take a nap, Neil’s feet were always in my face, and every 5 minutes he’d fart and practically make our car a moving barrel with toxic chemicals. Mom wanted coffee which she gets every hour, and I actually tried it and figured out how it keeps her alive. Neil says “Are we there yet” every 5 minutes. When he is not bugging us, he wants chicken and I told him you can’t eat your own kind. That resulted in my face looking like a ball rolled in mud.

So then I gave up and just took a nap……..roadtrips are fun….for us.

 

Banks of Godavari, India

via Photo Challenge: Delta

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LOL

via Wheel

Some days I wish all the wheels in my car were flat…..

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A Local Immigrant

via Local

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Where are you from?

I get that question a lot. “I am a Florida local”, I answer.

“No, where are you REALLY from?”

I want to say, ‘why would I lie to you’, but then I understand what the question really meant and being the kind person that I am….I choose to make them happy, I answer ‘India’….even though I am an American citizen….and love the local restaurants…..and the local beaches….and have American children. My son comes back from school and asks me ‘Why do they ask me where I am from?’ I could have taught him to stand his ground that he was a local, however, a little spark in me would not let me deny my child of belonging to both worlds.

When we visit India next, I make sure he travels by the auto rickshaws, eats street food, uses the local telephone booths. He is thrilled…needless to say he wants to be Indian now. And I tell him, he is half American and half Indian, that he is a global citizen.

We have enough borders, religions and races as it is. It is time for us to assimilate and learn to think and live globally. We are all members of the same family called humanity first.

 

The illusion of a sibling…

via Illusion

I have always had a sibling.. it’s just that they change every day.  It’s my mom when I play with her, my dad when I fight with him, my friends when we get into mischief.

The constant sibling in my life though, forever, will be Dennis.  He came into my life when I was 9 years old and was with me till I was 19.  I never missed having a sibling after that. (Not that I ever stopped doing other stuff.. especially fighting with Dad.. I enjoyed exasperating him!)

If anybody called him a dog, he would get mad.  He had the illusion of himself as the SON of the house and expected the rights and privileges of the same.  If a rule is established for him, it defaults to moi as well.

He would instigate other dogs for a fight and then hide behind my mom’s skirt for protection.  She would have to end up chasing them away.  So is he an illusion of a dog?

When we took him for walks, he used to get tired and refused to budge.  I would end up carrying him and walking (defeats the whole purpose of walking, don’t ya think?).

I used to put him in a cradle and rock, dressed him in undershirt and underpants, carried him around like a baby (he used to hold onto me for his dear life).  Now y’all know I had a crazy childhood that can account for the crazy adult I am now.

He-Man

He was my faithful sidekick.   I used to ride him like a tiger with an umbrella in my hands yelling SHE MAN and the Masters of the Universe…

Baby Diaries

via Commit

Work from home is best for a mother…

Well..Noooo..It drives me nuts (to say the truth). My 2.5-year-old baby thinks it’s mommy’s holiday because she is at home and asks if mommy really has to work. She expects ‘mommy commitment’…I better take it seriously…who cares about a job right! So she wonders if we can do a bit of shopping, go on a play date and to top it off, a choo choo train ride would definitely be nice.  When mommy says she needs to get work done and how about we go after that in the evening? She takes it upon herself to help me out by walking all over my laptop. 🙂 

Breakfast time is fun…

Not so for mommy.. constant threats, bribes and tears on both sides of the table…then out of nowhere a beautiful hug and a kiss from the baby..… instant diffusing of my ticking time bomb.

Puter and Carter…

My baby likes to emulate me, so she is mommy most of the times and walks around with a laptop which she calls “Puter” and a baby doll which she calls “Carter.” I am surprised I am already a grandmom!! Double commitment!

Puter&Carter

(Don’t ask me why Carter is wearing pink or if she is wearing pink – why she is called “Carter.”)

Bathtime….

Love the bath time with my baby. It’s always fun after I manage to get her into the tub. Getting her in is a struggle (well, let’s not talk about that, that will take 5 blogs!). Amid the bubbles we have Carter in the tub for a washing as well, (thank god I hid Puter in time) of course, as my baby is the Mommy – she is really serious about doing her MOMMY DUTIES right.