Abuse – Savage Town

Savage

alone

I did not get to say NO, does that mean I wanted it. I did not know how to understand what happened, does that mean it did not happen, or that I am misunderstood.

Society has come a long way since my generation was younger. I am not here to blog on how molesters, especially child molesters are not getting enough punishment. There are thousands of advocates for that I am sure. I am here to talk to the good people. The ones that are sick are not getting cured by reading a blog.

I have come a long way from a small town I grew up in India. Long way to freedom, stability and security….however, I know there are thousands of stories of little girls and boys that are untold. Stories of unwanted touching in trains, buses, homes. Stories that resonate with victims who went unnoticed for the sheer fear of stigma. What is this stigma, in the mind of a 9-year old?

The stigma of having rattled an adult, of having rocked a boat, of declaring themselves as a sex object. There is an inherent bias in society that decent kids are not meant to know, express and communicate about sexuality. It is considered modest to not publicly display affection. Social media is considered the savage here, not the neighbor, or the cousin living right under the parents’ noses.

How do you make these kids speak up? Guardians, please teach your kids that it is ok to talk about sexuality, abuse and other uncomfortable topics. That their feeling of guilt is misplaced.

Now, let’s get to what happens when a victim does speak up. Responses such as – “The child has a very active imagination.” “Just look at the short top she wore, it wouldn’t have happened but for that” are ignorant and totally unfair. Girls are stowed away at home and sent out only in the company of a male protector, just like jewelry is put in a safe. For parents who dare to give freedom to their children, there is a constant, nagging fear. How many predators are they going to protect them from? And why is this problem not getting fixed in India?

Do you really think people in countries, with lesser crime rates are all born as better human beings? Not really. People behave when they fear the law, when victims speak up, when there is an awareness in the society. Not to forget to mention the other end of the spectrum, where women abuse the laws that are already skewed in their favor. This makes the necessity of proof vital. Thereby, the onus on the real victims of such crimes is manifold. The wrong escapes by complicating the system with red tape and corruption. The right gets buried under the burden of scrutiny.

Let us not raise children, who grew up strong healing from their traumas, but those that are brave enough to fight their demons, right when they face them.

A Local Immigrant

via Local

local

 

 

Where are you from?

I get that question a lot. “I am a Florida local”, I answer.

“No, where are you REALLY from?”

I want to say, ‘why would I lie to you’, but then I understand what the question really meant and being the kind person that I am….I choose to make them happy, I answer ‘India’….even though I am an American citizen….and love the local restaurants…..and the local beaches….and have American children. My son comes back from school and asks me ‘Why do they ask me where I am from?’ I could have taught him to stand his ground that he was a local, however, a little spark in me would not let me deny my child of belonging to both worlds.

When we visit India next, I make sure he travels by the auto rickshaws, eats street food, uses the local telephone booths. He is thrilled…needless to say he wants to be Indian now. And I tell him, he is half American and half Indian, that he is a global citizen.

We have enough borders, religions and races as it is. It is time for us to assimilate and learn to think and live globally. We are all members of the same family called humanity first.